I think at some point everyone questions whether or not they are making the right decisions in life. And I don’t mean whether or not to go blonde or buy that purse that costs more than it should. I mean the big life decisions. Whether or not to buy a house, have a baby, get married, move to another state, start a new job. Decisions that literally change your life. How can you not agonize over these things? Actually, no I take that back. I know people who don’t worry about any of these things. They decided long ago how their life was going to go and they just follow that path without question. I envy them. I’m an over-thinker. I’ve probably mentioned that a time or two. My over-thinking problem actually affects the flow of my life from time to time. I wonder if over-thinking can be considered an addiction or a disease. If so, can someone please come up with a medication for that? Preferably not one with that long list of possible side effects that end every drug commercial. Oh wait, there is something already, it’s called wine.
When I was in my twenties I had an amazing friend who was a bit older than me and much wiser. She would always laugh at the madness I wrought upon myself when I was struggling to figure out my next step in life. She reminded me to always “trust my gut.” Simple right? We’ve all heard that before. Trust your instincts. Listen to your inner voice. I assure you, it is easier said than done. At least for me. I have a lot of inner voices. Which one is the right one?
Since then I have noticed a strange pattern in my decisions. It turns out that the decisions I made in an instant, the ones I didn’t agonize over, have turned out to be the best ones. When I moved across the country to start a new job, when I left a horrible relationship that lasted 10 years too long, when I decided to go home with that cute guy from the bar (now my husband), when I decided I absolutely needed to bring home a puppy. I never gave a second thought to any of these decisions, I just said “yes.”
Fast forward to today and I have been agonizing over leaving the job I’m at now for the past 3 years. What does that say? I guess I’m still trying to figure it out. I suppose that’s what sayings like, “get out of your own way” mean. That all those voices in your head are just a distraction and when you can learn to shut them all up, that’s when the good stuff happens.